…or some of their advertisers think I do.
…or they did. I used to see these adverts all the time on Facebook talking about all these celebrities who were 40, but looked 25. Almost all of the celebrity photos they used gave me a “Really?” reaction. “Really, that’s the photo they used to convince me to try this miracle-fountain-of-youth potion?” I thought it would be fun to take a moment and reflect on these ads.
A smoking, squinting Jennifer Anniston.
What is the message here? Is smoking my way into Brad Pitt and John Maher’s bed? Will smoking make me look younger?
I mean, could they have used a less attractive photo of poor Jennifer? She looks truly awful in this photo. I don’t want to look like that. Did this advertiser think that I’m really that stupid, that I would just automatically click on a celeb head? They could be geniuses, though, because I almost clicked out of curiosity to see if the “trick” was smoking.
I’m 32. You are saying that Madonna looks younger than me. Really? Hmm.
I’m not saying anything against Madonna. Shit, I hope I look like her at her age, but she doesn’t look 30. She may have the body of in-shape 30 year old, but not the face. And I know how she got the body, so I wouldn’t be learning anything new there.
You want to know one disturbing thought I have due to these ads? It’s in the line “Learn the secret discovered by one mom”. I used to watch Nip/Tuck, and due to that, all I can think of with that line is the mother that said she used her son’s sperm on her face to help her look younger. EW, I know.
Uma, I feel really awful saying this, but I thought you were already 40. I actually thought you were probably 42, maybe 43. Maybe it’s just that the last time I saw you, you were all sweaty and bloody in Kill Bill, but I thought you were older than you are apparently. For this, I am truly sorry Uma. No woman likes it when you guess her age to be more than what it actually is.
Oh wait, this ad is a complete lie. A quick search on the internet told me that our gal Angelina here was born in 1975. She’s 33. That’s why she looks young….because she is.
Oh, and she also looks awesome because that photo is insanely photoshopped. I’m not saying she ain’t an attractive lady, I’m just saying…
She played a woman who had hot flashes on a tv show, for christ’s sake. There is no way anyone mistakes her for a 25 year old. The people who wrote these ads are completely insane. (That being said, Kim does look great for a 52 year old.)
And what is Kim doing in this photo? She is either extremely pissed at a photographer, or she is wickedly drunk and having a blast. Which reminds me, have any of you seen that book she wrote with her now ex-husband? HI-LAR-IOUS! If you ever need a pick me up, go to your closest Barnes & Noble and flip through a copy.
Back to our gal, Jenn. Back to another photo of her smoking. Back to my question wondering if smoking is a beauty cure all.
Is this a scene from a movie? I can’t even really tell if this is Jennifer Anniston.
I don’t really have much to say about this particular ad, except the smoking thing. I remember other ads that featured a smoking Catherine Zeta-Jones. This ad company was clearly obsessed with hot women who smoke.
Apparently it makes you look younger.
Posted by Wendy